Saturday Soapbox – Green Eyed Monster

 

125ssgiveaway

 

Welcome to my discussion feature. On Saturdays I will be posting my weekly discussion topic and a linky for you to post your weekly discussions as well. I hope you enjoy the discussions and come back every week.

If you hadn’t noticed I am celebrating this month. It is 125Pages’ 1st blogiversary! You can check out the whole schedule and enter the big giveaway here. For the month of April all Soapbox Saturdays will have a mini-giveaway of a $10.00 Amazon gift card for commenting, linking up or tweeting about the discussion. The giveaway will be open until the next Saturday Soapbox posts. Please enter with the Rafflecopter below.

 


 

I have been very lucky lately to receive a bunch of fantastic ARCs. Releases I never dreamed I would get as it’s just little ‘ole me with not a huge site and tons of followers. I was thinking that I was finally hitting my stride after a year of reviewing and blogging. I was doing well and people seemed to like me. Then, in last week’s wrap-up post comments, I got a comment that shocked me.

 

“You must think you are so special getting all of these books. But really, you are just being selfish. There you are grabbing all of these arcs and now other people can’t read them. They do limit the number they hand out you know. So you being greedy and then proud of it is just awful. I should report you to Netgalley as an abuser. No one can read all of those books, you are just a liar. I will never visit your blog again and I’ll tell all of my friends not to either.”

 

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Wow…what… I just did not know what to do at the time other then not approve the comment and cry. Yup, this one person made me break down just a little. They also really made me think; am I greedy and a bad blogger? Is there an etiquette I am missing? Am I turning everyone off? Am I that weird girl in the corner that people talk to when they have to? Am I alienating others with my quirks? What is wrong with me? My head was seriously spinning. After a little while though, I thought about it logically. I read 5-8 books a week. Split the difference and say 6.5 books times 4 weeks in a month and that is 26 books a month I read. I don’t DNF even when I should, and if given an ARC I will read it. So what is wrong with me requesting and getting 7 to 10 books a week to review with some release dates six or seven months away? I realized that there is nothing wrong with it for how I operate. I will read and review the book I was given, so no harm done. The person was a first time visitor, first time commentator, probably did not know that I read quite so much and I hope was just having an off day. I deleted the comment after copying it for this post and did not respond to the person, but it really made me think. I get jealous of other bloggers too.

 

isntfair

 

I do, I admit it. When I see others getting review copies of my favorite authors I wonder how they pulled that off. When I see sites newer than mine with way more subscribers I question how they got them. When I respond to another bloggers tweet and don’t get a response but others do, I wonder what I did wrong. I think it is a part of human nature to get jealous. I know for me it makes me strive to be better, to figure out what others did to accomplish those things. Unfortunately, for others it makes them lash out. If they feel bad then everyone around them should as well.

I know that one comment I received will actually make me pause when I feel my jealousy start to rise up in the future. I don’t ever want to make another feel like I did after reading it. So I will congratulate others when they get that next big read and I will remain friendly even if I feel snubbed. I think consciously trying to be the bigger person can only help my blogging and me as a person.

So tell me, what makes your Green Eyed Monster come out? What is your reaction?

 


 

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Posted April 16, 2016 by Laura in Blogiversary, Giveaway, Saturday Soapbox / 19 Comments


19 responses to “Saturday Soapbox – Green Eyed Monster

  1. Trolls 🙁 I went through something similar after I had been blogging 10 months. The person reported me to Blogger and I had my blog removed which took months to sort out (moved to WP in the meantime). It felt like I had lost my ‘baby.’ Five years later I’m still here 🙂

    Not really related but the thing that frustrates me is so much movement from publishers. You build a relationship and then they’re gone …

    It’s great that you were able to reflect and take the positives from the experience.
    Shaz Goodwin recently posted…Talk of the Town linky : Linking bloggers and authorsMy Profile

  2. Oh my goodness! What a horrible comment – I’m assuming your first-time visitor didn’t read your explanation of why your blog is called 125… This, sadly, is the dark underbelly of the blogging world. BUT – can I also offer up the consolation that it is also a measure of your success? I haven’t received a really unpleasant comment like that. Yet. Because as a reviewer, I simply don’t have your reach or footprint. You are NOW creating sufficient impact to make others feel jealous and insecure. You could, of course, slide below the horizon and shrink back your activities – request less ARCS so as to not offend such folks… Bah! Would they be any happier? More energised and enthused to put more effort and hard work into making themselves more successful. Probably not.
    As for me? I am fortunate in that I MOSTLY don’t feel particularly jealous. BUT there is one young author I encountered during my very first Fantasycon. We exchanged a few words whilst sitting next to each other – she was also a wannabe author, except that she hadn’t even completed her manuscript. But during that conference, she managed to get scooped up by a publisher I’ve always admired who went on to publish her book. I read it. I genuinely didn’t like it or think it particularly well written. It doesn’t help that she no longer acknowledges me these days as she sweeps past, surrounded by all the OTHER published authors (most of whom I DO genuinely like and admire). Do I come across as sounding meanminded, snarky and vile? Oh, absolutely. Because that is what jealousy does. That’s me being all green-eyed and monsterish. The one bright spot I cling onto, is that I’ve known a bunch of other folk, who have also gone on to be published or secure agents – and without exception, I have always felt thrilled for them. It’s just that one young author…

  3. Cali W.

    Thanks for the giveaway; some people are negative and just want attention just ignore them.

  4. Are you freaking kidding me??? Someone ACTUALLY left that kind of comment on your wrap-up post? Not only is it extremely impolite, it’s also downright mean. I read a lot of books, too, and sometimes, I get accepted for a lot of books the same week – even if I didn’t necessarily request those books that same week. And it’s really up to the publishers who they want to share their ARCs with, right? Maybe there’s a very good reason that person and their friends don’t get ARCs? Maybe they’re always mean towards the author, not really reviewing the book? Maybe they don’t actually read and review? Maybe their blog is so small and so new it’s just too early for them yet?
    I think it would be much, much worse if publishers got so few requests for their books they kind of had to accept all those who request their ARCs.
    I usually get quite a lot of ARCs, but my feedback ratio on Netgalley is 89%, so even when I have many books outstanding, I still have a lot of leeway.
    I’m glad you decided that the other person was wrong, and that you can request all the ARCs your little heart desires, and just continue to be happy when you receive those you’re excited about! *HUGS*
    Lexxie @ (un)Conventional Bookviews recently posted…Review: The Year We Turned Forty – Liz Fenton and Lisa SteinkeMy Profile

  5. After 8 almost 9 years of book blogging, I can say unfortunately it won’t be the only nasty comment you will get. Most of the time it has nothing to do with you at all. I just generally don’t respond or if it is personal I delete them (I won’t on discussion posts because differing opinions are what discussion is about). However in this case it was a showcase post, I wouldn’t respond. I would also delete since you did this post you don’t want her attacked cause that wouldn’t be good either. You are doing great! Haters gonna hate.

    What brings out my mind monster creative people that make it look easy (crafting) lol. I always have a lot of misses before I get it right!

  6. JenniferK

    I think that as long as you are reading the arcs that you get then I don’t see a problem. Obviously what that person wrote was extremely rude and uncalled for. I could maybe see their point if you were requesting tons of arcs with no intention of reading them. But you are not doing that. Also why would they feel the need to be so rude? I’m sure they could have nicely said something that wouldn’t have been as hurtful.

  7. Tammy V.

    There will always be others that are mean no matter what. Don’t let them get you down. They are not worth it. I am jealous of people that get to go to the book conventions. I don’t have the money to go and plus crowds tend to freak me out. lol.

  8. Sorry about that hurtful comment because it was meant to hurt and it was totally uncalled for. At the end of the day, the publishers approved you, they checked your stats and they are happy to give you those arcs. And you are happy to accept them, knowing that you can make it work. That’s all that matters, what you think and what the publisher thinks. Ignore the haters, they always exist but we don’t have to take on board their nasty comments. Just rise above it and know for every hater, there are hundreds of supportive fellow bloggers out there. I hope you love the ARCs 🙂
    Trish @ Between My Lines recently posted…The Sunday Post : Get your Bookish News #recommittedMy Profile

  9. How rude and not appropriate in our book blogging community. Even if that person felt that way, it wasn’t right to voice their opinion here. You request a lot of books but you also read and review a lot of books, so it all works out. Just let that comment slide off your back since all your other followers are happy to hear your thoughts and book chat with you 🙂
    Rita @ View From My Home recently posted…Weekly Wrap-Up: 4/17/16My Profile

  10. Ana M

    I find it amazing that people actually take the time to comment mean things… so you read a lot and get ARCs… awesome! I hope you have lots of fun 🙂 ignore silly people like that.

  11. Kathy Davis

    I’m always amazed when I hear stories like this. How can people be so rude, and mean?! My mother would be shocked by her bad manners too. She always taught us,” If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all”. I don’t care if this person is jealous, that was rude, and wrong to post that comment.I’m occasionally jealous of others good fortune, but I would never disgrace myself by being so rude.

  12. reading mind

    this is really terrible! How can someone leave such a nasty comment and be so rude? Keep doing your thing!

  13. […] my fair share of them. Like to the point that I have been called out by someone (see that fun topic here) who was just pissed at me. Now, 99% of all ARCS I get are ebooks. I very rarely get print copies […]